When I was 16, I was taken to a hospital. Then my recovery began. But I'd say I became well and healthy—physically, psychologically and emotionally—only when I took matters into my own hands. Without medication, psychotherapy, or supplements, I set myself free through a vegan diet.

When I was 12, I was targeted by a pedophile. After that, I gradually developed a subtle non-acceptance of the curves which started appearing at that age. I wanted to look like a child so men wouldn't notice me. Without any knowledge in the area of nutrition and healthy habits, I entered a world of restrictive dieting and bad advice which came from the Internet and magazines. Skipping breakfast, not having dinner, small portions, excluding carbs from my diet… all of this lead to depression. Due to the low calorie intake, my body began to fight, and I started overeating. I felt like I was losing control, like I was undisciplined and had to punish myself by throwing up all the food I ate. At the time, I did not understand what was happening. I was freaking out and hid my disease very skillfully. Only after a psychiatrist identified an eating disorder did I first hear about such a thing and started my research. Although I studied all the scary consequences, such as: teeth falling out, total loss of hair, damage to the heart muscle, stomach and throat cancer, dizziness and death… I couldn't stop. In the beginning, it was a bad habit, but it grew to be a heavy addiction. In the beginning, bouts of overeating and throwing up happened twice or three times a week, but it soon became 12-15 times a day. Day after day, the more weight I lost, the more depressed and helpless I became. When I realized I was in too deep, that I couldn’t be helped, I started thinking that I was never going to be healthy and normal, never going to have a normal meal without feeling guilty, to stop regarding food as an enemy, to release myself from this hell of an addiction. I thought that recovery and life weren’t in the equation for me anymore and that I could never ever be free again. I let go. No fighting. I let my sickness lead me to death. I wanted to starve my body so it would give up and save me the suffering. My body was my enemy, food was my enemy. The only, most appealing and logical way out was death. I rejected any means of help.  

Taken to a hospital by force at 16 and weighing only 27 kilos, I knew I was already half-dead. That day felt like it was my last. I’d fall asleep still standing. My reasoning was clouded, my motions slowed down, breathing was very shallow; I felt I didn’t have enough oxygen to keep me going. A team of doctors fought for me for two days and nights. I survived and spent four long months there.

What was essential for my recovery? Rebellion woke up inside of me and I decided never to find myself in that situation again, where I’m dependent on others and where others decide and run my life. Since I decided to heal on my own, I spent days, nights, hours, reading, listening, and gathering knowledge... I found out that the vegan diet was the healthiest and most natural and this got me to try it out. “The best speech ever” by Gary Yourofsky moved me deeply and made me reconsider everything that I have been taught. Veganism gave me a purpose in life—it shifted the focus from me and my issues to helping animals, advocating their right to live, and raising awareness in people that the vegan diet heals many diseases (such as cancer), allergies, diabetes, heart problems, and many others. I eat plenty of fruit, vegetables, grains, beans, root vegetables... without calorie counting or fear of food.

It is my wish to make people who are suffering know that it is possible, that it can be done, especially if I, who gave up on everything, managed to do it. I want to show how life can be beautiful after beating the disorder. I’m happy, always smiling and cheerful, ambitious, full of wishes and goals for the future, passionate about life and everything it has in store for me.

Veganism saved my life, it brought back life to every atom and cell of my body. And as a way of life and discovering the truth, it gave me a new perspective and a goal to educate others. 

If only everybody knew about the special feeling that comes from a vegan diet, about the energy and health, everybody would go vegan over night. More and more athletes are discovering the power of plants and using it to significantly improve their performance, because animal products slow down every function in the body. Also, people struggling with health issues see major improvement after going vegan. Becoming vegan, assuming a vegan lifestyle, and stopping the use of animals in any way gave me a sense of justice and satisfaction, like I’m doing the right thing, which fills me up completely and makes me happy.

Maria Vrnoga de Gregorio